Damn it has been a while since I posted anything. I don't have an audience so I'm sure no one  out there really gives a crap, but I don't either therefore I will write it out anyways :)


Recently I found this great page on FB with so many inspirational, motivational, positive quotes. I am someone who strives to live in a happy world with no nonsense drama. People who freak out about non life threatening things like someone close to your suddenly passing away, anyone you love passing away, a friendship ending or beginning or restarting, learning something new, learning something new about yourself, someone you love, having a great family, and great friends even if that is your family. Those are the important things NOT who said what about to when/where it was said and blaaaah. Seriously that's what I've started to let any gossip go to: Blaaaah or the PEANUTS teacher voice womp woowwwah womppwhaaahh. So think of that nonsense waste and hear it like that.


So my quest to be balanced and keep the positive rolling has stretched onto the place I spend most of my days: WORK, my office door with be the showcase. Today I wrote a little something and will do the following each Monday. I will add a positive quote to my door each Monday to kick off the week right in hopes that the rest of the people who surround me a re inspired to do the same. I will be paying attention to how folks react and plan to share here, especially if they don't like it hehe.
This was the first:

Others I also really like are below. Have a great week folks and enjoy the wonderful people who surround you and weed out the fake ones who waste your time with gossip, nonsense, and things that will never amount to anything besides bull. You know who they are because them seem to grab your attention faster than the ones who truly count in your life...you wonder why? OH probably because you just realized how much time the waste for you :) I always then think of those who I love so much more and remind myself of why God put them in my life because they're to overshadow the ones who still need time to grow up and learn more about the world that surrounds them. (yep total run on sentence and not a single fuck is given here) PS I'm 27 in 3 months, now that's something to be excited about...

The best summer job EVER

Have you ever had a job that was stress free? 

Well no one can truly say yes to that as most are stressed out about day one. But really think about it, have you? I truly enjoy the work I do now for my employer, stress and all it is worth the stress and I've learned how to filter that out as the tasks I complete as far from life or death situations. When I make that a point when someone is ready to jump off the cliff it tends to put them back into perspective. Ours lives are not that serious...
I think the job that I will forever hold dear and never forget. The job one I held at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 2010 is the one I instantly will name, every time if asked. It was a short handful of months, but the experience overall was FUN. Each day gearing up at the beginning of it all when I started working there in April was exciting. I've always been a race fan, but to be a part of the experience that thousands come to and so many more watch around the globe is a pretty amazing.
Even though the majority of what I did there was what some may consider grunt work, I enjoyed it. I met some great down to earth no bullshit people. Did we joke nearly every chance we got? You bet we did! Goofing off in the warehouse and track side was the usual. Packing orders to ship with the girls and taking trash out behind the team garages was never something to complain about...you never knew who you might see.
I also had the pleasure of meeting some of the drivers. Hands down, these athletes put themselves out there, of course most likely to those they feel won't be all creepy-like to them. Yes I am going to drop names because they are all very inspiring. Just to name them all, well the ones that I remember: Sarah Fisher, Will Power, Danica Patrick, Helio Castroneves, John Andretti, Ryan Briscoe, and the late Dan Wheldon.
All of them and the others who have faded a bit in my mind were genuine and far from fake personality of any sort. They love the work they do and the goal they're trying to accomplish, that checkered flag win. 

Dan Wheldon

Danica Patrick

Ed Carpenter 

John Andretti's Team lined up on race day

Dan handing over his shades to his assistant

Ryan Briscoe and I

Of course the most memorable and not because he's gone is the day I first met Dan. A fellow store clerk, if that's what we were considered...met him and probably appeared to be giddy 14 year olds while on our lunch break. I don't care one bit because he signed our work cards and yep I kept mine. No matter what anyone says about him, I can put money on it that every time someone mentions his name they will never say a bad thing about him. He was positive always and if he wasn't truly no one saw it on the outside. Crappy practice day, yeah right he goofed off prior to hopping back in his car, see below as he struts to go tease a fellow driver. I guess people learn a lot from others when they least expect to and it sometimes becomes even more evident when they're gone...completely from this world. 

Probably my favorite driver photo ever. Rest Easy Dan Wheldon.

May is huge here in Indy, and I get excited all over again when I hear the faint hum of the Indy cars on the track miles away from where I work now. There's truly nothing like IMS or the Indy 500. If you've never experienced it, it's worth it at least once. Even if being in huge crowds isn't your thing, people watching is worth the trip, and everyone if ridiculously excited to be there on race day. I got to work last year's 500 also. Those who had been working thought the same as I did the previously year...wait you volunteered to work today (I was paid) but the wake up and time to clock in is quite early...say 4-4:30am. I damn happy I did last year, watched that final lap live at the track. Dan won, it was huge and I even got permission to try and see him in victory lane. I didn't see him beyond a glimpse, but it was all worth it. So I'd like to thank God for putting people like Dan Wheldon on the planet, even for a short time and they're stripped away from family, friends, and fans far too soon they leave a legacy. He was like the bird that still sings while it's pouring down rain...nothing phases the happy song. Bless his family and friends and all the fans that hold him dear. Not all were lucky enough to see him in person let alone have a conversation with, so for those who never did...anything amazing you thought could be true was. His charm could take over any room, his smile cannot be compared, and his attitude above all could lift you up out of the most horrible thought. Thank you Dan for inspiring me on the days when I'm not sure what I should be doing or where to go next on the little things too. Your autograph copied signed to me hangs in my office for that exact reason, inspiration.

Photo taken while standing on the track...

All images are my own personal shots taken on breaks or when I was leaving, just to be clear this wasn't done on the clock ;)

Our Angels

It's late and I cannot sleep. I've been thinking a lot about these things lately...

Recently a friend from my Mom's childhood suddenly passed away. It has been something weighing heavy in my heart and brought other thoughts to my mind since the news of his unexpected death. Even though I never met him, I have heard many silly stories about him when my Mom revisited that time in her life. Since his passing his amazing husband has keep everyone update via FB. I have also not met him, but he too seems so wonderful and I pray for he and his family at this time of loss.

No one has it easy when some one special passes away. Even if it is something they've been preparing for such as this person is terminally ill or other health issues when the body is failing...no one can prepare for the loss of that human life. We know that once they are gone...they are physically gone, but only from this world. Even if my cousin doesn't realize it, I learned a lot more about this type of loss while working at the family funeral home for a couple of months one summer. I saw many families and friends filter in to say one last good bye...I slowly began to recognize it as more of a See you later.
At a young at I didn't understand the concept of death or who decided that God needed to take that person then...too soon, so suddenly from all of us. I was only in 5th grade when a fellow Girl Scout was a part of a tragic crime and murdered. I will never forget any detail to that day...I shared a desk with her as we changed classes at that grade level, this instance is still as though it happened yesterday in my mind. I curse the details that I remember as I can pin point where I sat in the packed church for the funeral which all grades attended. Within the next year a fellow classmate lost his father suddenly and also a teacher lost her father to cancer. That may have been first time I ever heard the word Cancer...Within the next 3-5 years other friends from my childhood lost parents. I also lost a cousin, who I only saw once but remember his visit...It was so tough to see through the tears and that infamous question of WHY?
Not until I spent that summer at the funeral home did it all sort of fall into place and click. A few years after that summer I can home for my birthday weekend...that Monday I was 21. As I did most times when home from school I went to visit me grandma (Blue Mema). I didn't think that this would be my last, but something deep down got me there and this visit was a little different...I arrive as she lie in bed, she saw me walking toward her and gave me the middle finger, I cannot make it up and only she knows it as til this day my Mom doesn't believe me! She did and we laughed then visited. Nearly 2 weeks later she went with God to heaven. I remember the call that made me crumble. I have that pain when my Mom called to share the news of her old friend...

What made her passing different and all those who have passed since is my outlook on death. Any time someone passes now whether it is sudden or pending...I view as God needed another angel to watch over us. Specifically one to watch over their family and favorite friends. I know Blue Mema would give me a lickin' (kick my ass for those who don't know that term) if she 1) knew I was writing about her 2) cry when I miss her or 3) think of her with the smell of cigs...There is nothing we can do but honor the life they had and the moments we were able to share when they were with us. What did we learn from them? What did you do that made you laugh so hard? What was it that scared you about them?

I learned not to smoke, not to slack off while running bases, to reach for the cookie jar during free throws, enjoy oldies music and most of all be kind to others everyday. These are things I learned early from those who have left my life far too soon and are now angels. I know that one day I will see them all again, but for now I know when they see me breaking down mentally they're behind me to encourage me and those they touched to keep moving forward. The love shared will last forever as death never stops love ever.

So many Exciting things!

Well I must announce with supreme excitement that I am going to be an auntie Stephie again :) This mystery nugget is the creation of life between my sis-in-law and her man~

This little boy or girl will have so much love awaiting it's arrival it is going to just get plain crazy! So many blessings sent to the expecting mama and the little nug she's building and yes I mean BUILDING. I can't remember which comedian spoke of his wife being prego and he came home one day to see her lounging around and made the mistake of asking a prego woman "what did you do all day?..." her response was priceless and I will use it one day I am sure of it "well honey I grew an arm, yesterday a pair of legs, and tomorrow maybe some ears" I know those weren't his exact words of what had happened but so many people who know about pregnancy know that little one with our prayers will develop nothing like this expecting mama described to give her hubby a reality check...

Even though we're not planning to begin "trying" for a nug of our own for a while... I have sure learned a ton of random things about babies growing, baby's arrival, and all that comes with the experience. I am so thankful to know so many kick ass moms including my own. A slew of babies were born last year to folks a part of my life. Whether I see them nearly every time I'm home, once every couple of years, or via FB I am so happy for them and proud to know those little ones have one heck of a mama that'll have their back through the toughest shit. You know who you are J, M, S, J, L, N, L, S...so many others including the ones expecting this year alone.

I have also learned things to avoid and so many of them have shared direct situations with me...which I know is venting, but my words don't count for a whole lot at least I don't think they can be creditable as I am not yet a mother. As stated in my opening blog I see things from multiple perspectives and cannot say I ever aim to judge anyone involved...

So even though thousands can say "If it were me I would do blah blah blah" here is a culmination of things we ourselves may have put our own parents through and should try to avoid at all costs...

Someone has been waiting far too long to get his GTL, mostly the tan part obviously...

The Vacationer

The day this begins to even happen anywhere on the planet with my future child, all of you as my witness will know I will scoop up my child and begin my super walk back to the space car we arrived in...

The Floor Cleaner

Taking it back with this one...I have a potty mouth from time to time, but we all know when the sailor should check out. 

The Sweet Adorable Sailor

I know I will try my best someday to raise bright, respectful kids and there will only be so much I can control in their little lives. I hope that each ma or pa agrees as much as we want them to be precious little angels...be real it has to start with you at home. The right actions and words are soaked up by the little sponges as soon as they can see and hear. Remember they do here sound in the womb ;) Until it is my time I think this is all the baby talk I will be doing...no fear or baby fever here. . . yet~

Inspiration

There are moments in life when people say something amazing in the most inspirational way.  I guess I should have seen something coming my way that would be uplifting in my future. Last week when I met Ann Curry of the Today Show she said something powerful to me. That statement is mine to keep, but it came back to me today. 

This is one news anchor who I have grown up with throughout the years. I decided last minute to head downtown last week to stop by the Today Show broadcasting live as the 2012 Super Bowl approached. I know that I may never be in NYC and have the chance to see the show so I went alone and had a great time. She had asked if I was there alone, my little reply of "yes" seemed so child-like as I was speaking with this amazing, genuine, world traveler. She instantly said "No, not with all these people who surround you." We then spoke of where I work. She was taken a back and mentioned traveling. Ann spoke with others in this way. She has interviewed so many powerful people throughout the world. Leaders, criminals, politicians, and the list goes on. I guess no one expects others at that level of celebrity to be so genuine to people who are considered fans and admirers. It was just great and I am thankful.


There are many others who have been inspiring throughout my life. I hear my mother's voice in mine. Hearing my voice mail vs. hers is simply nuts. I love her. I also havethe toughness of both of the Memas (Grandmas) comes out from time to time. Rosie Mema is so tough and kind to so many people and also a cancer survivor. Blue Mema was one hell of a lady. Bleach white hair, attitude, and I notice that a lot when things seem tough I know how to handle it with a smile no matter how tough the situation may be. Miss you, love you, always thinking of you.

So all this inspiration may push me forward and these are only a few women who have had an influence on who I am today. Sometimes there are also days when things just don't seem to be going right. Think of someone positive in your life. They may not be a part of this world today, for example that woman seen above with yes a baby me :) but oh the things I learned from her even if she wasn't trying to teach me a thing. I took away a lot from that relationship. It is important to surround yourself with positive people who will be there for you in the most ugly or toughest part of your life. Those are true friends. Woman can be catty as shit but damn you also know some of those chicks will have your back to hell and back. Keep those positive ones close and clear the slat of those who are nothing but drama. Do you like drama? No one does.

Panhandlers Galore

Anyone who has been in the car with me when I've spotted a panhandler at an intersection knows how I feel about them. I do realize that there are people who will do whatever it takes to make a buck, but the fact that people will pose to receive a hand out makes me angry to the core. Message to the people who fall for a panhandler's sign DONATE TO A REAL CAUSE. The money will be distributed as it should, to someone or a family that is in desperate need of assistance. 
A great investigation done by WNDU (South Bend NBC News station) covered the life of a panhandler. In the 3 part series a reporter posed as a panhandler and I suggest YOU watch it. www.wndu.com will have the series. 
Many folks don't know it but panhandlers do "work" in groups and rotate "shifts". They can make more than many of us in a day than we will make in one week. Wouldn't that be something if business after business began to close its doors because their employers decided to become panhandlers instead? It is very easy to scrounge up a piece of cardboard and make a sappy sign about not having any money. I know the reality is that there are people who are homeless holding these signs, but a high number of them are complete posers. 
I've known people who have rolled down their windows to offer yard work to those who hold a sign with "Will Work" and the person refused the work...or another who wanted to offer a meal and again the person refused the food...conclude that the sign their holding is a big lie.
So next time you think about passing a couple of dollars to that panhandler on the side of the road because the weakness in your heart is tugging think again and donate to a real cause like medical research, to find a cure for the countless cancers, military veterans and families, a local mission, a local shelter, or even the Red Cross. 


Or maybe this will be something that will appear in your head the next time you spot a cardboard sign...

Please read my $ign!

Just shoot for the stars

I don't think I will ever hear this song and not be put in a good mood. Some people get sick of songs, but this one never makes me change the station, ever. The lyrics and the beat are made to get you moving. The lyrics are hot and sassy so there's nothing wrong with that either~
Moves like Jaggerrrr makes me want to dance around no matter where I am. My house, my car, my desk. I also do not care if people driving along side me can see me belting it out with Adam Levine and his hot voice among other things...

So get up and get moving in whatever area that needs an extra kick of motivation...I working on getting our place clear of clutter and unnecessary items we never use: clothes, shoes, meaningless decor. Here's to a productive MLK Jr. Day!

Responsibility...don't use the Urban Dictionary to define your sense of the word.

R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y

Yes it is quite a long word that falls into every aspect of our lives. Some use it while angry and others use it to gain a political vote, but I use it when someone needs a reality check. We are all guilty for lacking it from time to time, but the times it is noticeably not evident is when someone around us completely disregards it, and it plays a huge role in any relationship. 
It can be tough to help someone recognize that they are disrespecting someone and applying their own responsibility onto someone else. The tough part is those of us that this has happened to have a tough time letting the other person know how disrespected they feel because the last thing they want to do is hurt that person's feelings...even though lacking responsibility in a relationship is also a lack of respect for the other person who would/has covered for the slacker in the past. On the other hand this slacker could actually be someone quite egotistical and only care about themselves. Most of you know by now that I don't associate with those kind of folks...the world does not revolve around anyone. We are all just here to live and get by in the best way possible.
Does anyone else ever listen to the radio on their way in to work? Well I flip from station to station, but Russ Parr in the Morning gets my attention most mornings. They cover a broad range of topics. Family drama, Friend drama,  Lovers drama, Work drama...
This past week they requested that people call in if they felt that they were being taken advantage of when it came to supporting friends or family. One lady said she supports her man...another said he was supporting his siblings by helping with their kids and bills. Both felt awful when it came to the point of telling those who they were helping the kind of toll it was taking on them and their thoughts of the relationship.
As I continued driving and nodding in agreement of why it is important to step up and say "No, I can't take responsibility for your life" it was the best thing to do to save themselves from anxiety, stress, awkward situations with family, friends, co-workers...you just have to be completely honest and open. Who ever it is passing their responsibility on to you needs to be given that reality check. The response you receive from the slacker may not be all smiles and thank yous but at least you became one person in their life who decided to attempt to set them straight. 

What does your 2012 look like? Well...

In the past week soldiers from my state gave the ultimate sacrifice. It is a shame to see the terrible things people write in relation to our military. It is a shame that many families will never have the opportunity to stand up against those who bash our military and are ignorant towards the reality of it all. People may not agree with where our soldiers serve but the truth is they are there to continue to protect our freedom, our country, our homes, our families, our friends, our lives.
This year the one I love will be waking up someplace foreign to all of us and you bet I will miss him like hell BUT I am even that much more proud of him and his service to our country. Anyone who has a loved one in the military even in the beginning stages of service has those awful gut feelings, but you cannot live life based on the awful that "could" come of their service. Anytime my mind steps in that direction I remind myself of why I even met my husband. It was because of the military. Maybe I will explain how we met in a future post on one of those days ahead in my future where I know I will need to really remind myself as that period of time when they are away cannot be explained. I've been there once and this will be our second. It will be a lot different this time around, but I know I will make it through...again.
So next time you read someone's nasty comments about the loss of a soldier please remind them that the person who gave the ultimate sacrifice was a husband. wife, son, daughter, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, father, or mother. They signed up to keep all of us safe from pure evil. I stand up to those who think they hot shit to speak out because they're not busy or don't take a moment to try and understand or learn about the military.
My husband was the first person my age who is in the military and since then a handful of guys I grew up with who I still claim as my extra bunch of brothers serve too. I'm proud of them all and pray for each of them and their safety. I'm thankful and grateful to live in this country. I'll miss my husband when he heads out, and will be dealing with all that comes with being the other half to someone who will be waking up somewhere else on the planet.

May God Bless those who have given the ultimate sacrifice, their families, their friends. I cannot imagine that feeling and pray that I never have to ever go through what they are at this time of sudden loss. Bless all military troops so that each day ahead they wake up safe and rested to combat all ahead of them in their day.

New to You!

I may be no one to you now, but I've been known as a bit of a talker to those who do know me quite well. I've decided to start a blog/vlog because maybe I could be that girl who opened your mind or eyes to a new perspective on a situation happening right now in your life or someone close to you. The number ones in my life will call me crazy but there are also a handful that may say "it's about time" either way I'm going to take a chance in this new year and put myself out there. 
I'm the girl that listens. I'm a story teller, but can give input or advice without judging the people involved and look at the situation as a whole. I've seen that "ah ha" face come across the faces of friends and even strangers. Watching the light bulb flip on is something else...must be what the professionals feed off of. I'm in no way one of those professionals, just a girl from the U.S. who was born a Libra trying to keep my life balanced and don't mind helping others towards discovering how to find that balance in their own journey. 


The beginning to this craziness is that I request a handful of questions and will answer some once a week by blogging or vlogging about what has been submitted. I may become the balance between Jenna Marbles and the Ask Annie newspaper column. We shall see. Wishing all an exciting New Year, may 2012 be your best year yet. No matter how ridiculous 2011 was this is a year where you can change anything for the best in your life.
Here we go,
Stephanie